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Yes! I am finally back online in my own home! I no longer feel like the staff in Cafe Nero are judging me every time I buy one £1.60 cup of tea and then use their free wi-fi for hours at a time. I breathe a sigh of relief at having my own broadband connection again.

Things I have done while living alone with no internet (and no interest in current TV)

  • Drilled a lot of holes in my walls. Hung up very few shelves/pictures.
  • Watched a lot of food network. Co-incidentally gave up on healthy eating. Like, oh my god.
  • Talked a lot on the telephone.
  • Built half a wardrobe.
  • Kicked the wardrobe in its stupid half-built face.
  • Stubbed my toe on flat pack wardrobe pieces.
  • Called up Sky to ask why I have no internet yet, and shouted at half their call centre individually.
  • Apologised to almost half the Sky call centre (not that first woman though, she was uselessness personified and deserved to be shouted at.)
  • Called up Sky to find out why they haven't sent someone to fix the hole they left in my wall yet. Oops, they say, we forgot about that. We'll have our people call your people, 'kay?
  • Had a moment of Why The Hell Not and cut my own hair. Remember when you were a kid and you always got the urge to just slice off your ponytail/the ponytail of the girl who sat in front of you at school? Well, I was watching Princess Mononoke, and the main character did his whole dramatic I will cut off my hair now to show that I am an outcast, and I was like, yeah, sounds good.
  • Told my sister I had cut my own hair. Was immediately invited to coffee to "see how I was doing".
  • Told my mother I had cut my own hair, to silence on the end of the phone, and a hastily changed subject.
  • I still like my new haircut. I no longer have to set aside thirty minutes of my day to try and make it behave. Also, I have cut off the last of the dye frazzled hair and all of my hair is the same colour at last!
  • Did rubbish christmas shopping. Like, really terrible presents.
  • Wrote ALL the short stories.
  • Hated ALL the short stories.

I also typed out a couple of journal entries that I might post here in the next few weeks, if I read them and they haven't suddenly become incredibly banal in between writing them and looking at them again. That tends to happen to things I write.